How to get me on your Advisory Board

The short answer is “ask”, but usually I will say no.

I sit on advisory boards for two startups right now, but I’ve had to turn down quite a number of startups lately. It gave me clarity on my qualifications for a great startup. BTW, if you look at the two startups, Letz and DNN you can’t see anything in common.

So, here is my official list of things that make me want to work intimately with a startup in return for equity.

• Partnership: The companies have two or more founders who obviously trust, love and respect one another. This happens, usually, after they’ve had one or more big failures together, as well as several successes. There’s nothing like coming into a company where there’s that feeling of true partnership. You’re being welcomed into a kind of a family. I’ve noticed these kinds of partners never make any decisions without one another. They don’t even speak in first person singular, and other people don’t talk to them in first person singular. I was at a pitch session (virtual) where one of the founders was pitching, and his partner wasn’t in the room, but the moderator still referred to him as “you guys.”
• Familiarity: There’s a bit of a “dating” or trial experience first. The founders have had a few sessions with me, asking specific questions, or even answering my questions. The sessions are productive, and they usually run over time, because we are enjoying the meeting and the knowledge we gain is productive.
• Ego suppression. Ego suppression is my euphemism for “Takes criticism in a healthy way.” If you follow my blog or my Quora posts, you’ll note that I shoot from the hip. If I tell you that some specific aspect of your company is poorly thought-out, and the first thing you do is defend yourself, we aren’t going to work well together. I do want your explanation, but only after you take a few seconds to really let my feedback fit in. I once sat in a meeting for 30 minutes with a founder who, no matter what I said, kept telling me he was right. By the way, half of that was me trying to explain to him that as a founder, part of his job is to listen (to the market, to experienced mentors, etc.), and his being defensive about that. I ended the meeting 30 minutes early, because I couldn’t help him. BTW, I am wrong some of the time. Maybe even most of the time. It doesn’t matter if I am right or wrong. It just matters that you can take input and process it. If you can’t face your flaws, you’ll never improve.
• Prior experience. I don’t look at this as a prerequisite, but I think it’s a prerequisite for the other two. You have a solid partnership only if you’ve been through some shayit together, and you have ego suppression only if you’re super smart but have failed a few times.
• Enjoyment. I absolutely enjoy being with these people. The work they are doing is exciting and I learn something new every time I work with them. I’m having so much fun, I’d do it for free. (Let’s face it, more than half the time, I am doing it for free. Equity pans out pretty rarely.) If I wouldn’t work with you for free, I won’t be on your Advisory Board for one simple reason: I never want to look at the clock and figure out how many hours I gave you and whether it was worth my while. I want my startups to be able to call me any time, and know I won’t be irritable or rushed or wishing I was doing something else. That’s not the relationship I want with a startup. If I’m not committed to the success of the company, I don’t belong on the Advisory Board. Committed means you don’t think “what’s my payout?” but just “what’s best for the company?” I don’t see how anyone could give valid advice with any other question in their mind.
• Values. Yesterday, one of the guys told me “It’s not about the money.” I’m like, duh. If it were about the money, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you. Money is to business as breathing is to life. You need it. But if someone were to tell you their purpose in life was to breathe, you’d think they were wacko. Yet, people tell you the purpose of their business is to make money and we think that’s normal.
• Caring: Last but not least, I need to really care about the success of the venture. I might care about what you are doing, but more likely I really care about the human beings who are running the show. Obviously, this connects to enjoyment. I need to love the people as much as the product. Otherwise, why would I choose to hang out with you? Life is too short. You’ll hear most business people over a certain age say the same thing. Life is too short to work with people you don’t love. That goes for clients as well as coworkers. Almost everybody I know over the age of 45 will reject a client simply on the basis of “not liking” the person. If you don’t care, you’ll never do your best, and if you don’t do your best, they are unhappy and you are unhappy.

So there you have it. If you sit on advisory boards, how does this line up with your criteria?